Kessi Drabble
by Patty-boo
Summary: It's basically drabbles from my favorire Kyle/Jessi moments!
1. Memories

As I shared that information with her…I looked at how she was…so vulnerable, so sweet, so keen to what was happening. I could feel her in me…I could feel how the both of us became one and the lines that divided us.

"…a service that backs up cell phone data, even disposable cell phones."

She looked curiously at me. Her beautiful green eyes gazed at me and filled an ember of hope in my body.

"Like Sara's?" she answered peculiarly, intently waiting for the information that I wanted to share with her.

"The call records lead nowhere, but…"I bit my lip, looked at Jessi's laptop and then back at her." She took some pictures."

"Of what?" I looked at her again, just gazing into her beauty, her vulnerability and anxiousness towards the new information I had of her mother. The person she had cared for the most in this world.

She clicked on the computer as I answered her." you…"

She passed the pictures with curiousness and intent to what her mother had left her. I loved to watch her smile as she gazed at those pictures. I just had to think for myself that…

Memories are a way of keeping your past alive; some are so painful we never want to visit them, but a memory can also be a gift something we can open again and again in order to fill ourselves with happiness.

She looked at one of the last pictures and then at me. She smiled so beautifully, I just had to smile back at her. She was so full of joy and true happiness. It was incredible how she exuded those feelings towards me making me feel warm and fuzzy. She grinned intently watching the rest of the pictures. I just gazed at her amazement.

The happiness she had just went through me… she smiled at me again and I just saw through her eyes. The love and astonishment in them—my gaze on her.

And sometimes a moment becomes a memory the instant it happens because it is so true, so pure and so significant you want to capture it forever.

I just couldn't help but to savor the moment. I cupped her face as she looked nervous at what was about to happen and then in that moment we shared together…everything felt complete and whole. It was as if we made that perfect moment so special there was no way it could be undone.


	2. Over the Covers

"I can't believe this…all this time I'd thought she'd left because she hated me." She said trying to hold herself together as she tried to absorb the new information I had given her.

"Jessi…" I said pulling close to her and sitting down on the red covers of her bed. "No one could ever hate you."

And it was true, I didn't think that possible. I didn't think that someone could hate someone as wonderful and as amazing as Jessi. Even if she sometimes didn't make the right decisions…that gave no one the right to hate her.

She sobbed and sobbed and then I brushed her hair and I gave her, literally, a shoulder to cry on. This wasn't the way I loved the person she was.

"Jessi, please…"I begged her as I tried to comfort her. "I hate seeing you like this."

"My mother didn't leave me,she didn't leave me, she didn't leave—" Jessi sobbed into my arm as I held her close and tight.

"I don't think she did." I told her holding her close to me. She held such a vulnerability to her that it as beautiful, but the thought of her being so…so sad and hurt made me feel the same way, as if her feelings and mine were the same.

"I need to find out what happened to her." She said, looking me in the eyes. I was worried about how she would deal with what I had told her. She was just so…amazed that her mother hadn't had left her…that it brought tears. I didn't like seeing her this way at all." Promise me you'll help me find out."

"I promise" I said never breaking eye contact with her except when I loaned her my shoulder again. As I brushed her soft, silky hair against my fingers I noticed her necklace had turned a deep shade of red…I looked down at my own necklace…watching it turn the same red as hers. I was so surprised by this, not aghast, but…just surprised.

She kept crying in my shoulder as I tried to console her the way anyone should be when saddened. I suddenly heard her stop crying and I fell down into her bed. I took her down with me, but I treated her like a fragile thing that mustn't ever be broken. She took comfort in me and as she lay in my chest I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. I just put my arms around her and caressed her soft skin, letting her sweet scent fill my nose.

Later, I felt her asleep, her eyes closed moving. Her breathing was very steady and I was glad that she was now. I couldn't just help to watch the red gleam on us. It made me think of many things….it was a blunder of thoughts and emotions I couldn't control. I looked at her and saw more than beauty…just the incredible person she was. She was so close to me, less than a centimeter. I felt her breath in my cheeks as I caressed her left arm. We still had all our clothes on.

She moved around in her sleep, and I was so haunted by the thoughts in my head that I couldn't possibly fall asleep and it wasn't just the fact that this was a bed and not my tub. I looked at her shuffling around in her bed, looking more beautiful than ever. This moment was so serene, so…comforting. I caressed her right arm feeling her soft, warm skin and kept my hand in hers. I didn't want, nor dare to let her go…

I woke up and looked to my side hoping to find Jessi next to me, but she wasn't. I had never felt this way…so lost without her. I searched for her desperately getting up from her bed…she had left her sweet scent with me.

"Jessi?"

And then I saw her…and everything was good again…everything was whole.


	3. D is for Desire

I entered Kyle's room, anxiously trying to distract myself from all our problems, especially now that I was…dead. He was folding his tub sheets as if he didn't seem to notice that I had entered his room. I looked at him feeling so strangely warm and fuzzy. I looked at his muscles flexing as he folded his sheets. I couldn't stop staring as much as I wanted to…

He looked at me and I pulled out of the spell I was in. All those melodious heartbreaking love songs were true. Huh…I hadn't thought they would, but this was even more special, more fantastic…we were so different than all of those stories you heard about.

"Oh, you're arms are growing…" Did I really just say that to him? Well, whatever…it's way better than…I shook my head to ignore the thoughts I had in my head. I walked over and pulled myself closer to him and this…I did not plan…Gravity just pulled us together no matter where we were.

"They are?" He said nonchalantly. I was sure he didn't even notice about things like that, perhaps he never saw me the same way I was seeing him today. I touched his arm…it felt a lot better than just staring at them.

"Yeah…" I caressed them now. He turned to look at me. "they're at least half a centimeter bigger in circumference. Have you increased your exercise regimen?"

He looked at his arm, my hand in it and the back at me. He had forgotten about the sheet even though it was right in his arm. He looked flushed…embarrassed.

"Maybe a little." Now he pulled himself completely in front of me. I gazed at him. He was just so perfect. This intensity we felt…the way we were drawn to each other was impossible to escape from.

The sheets were forgotten…

I slid my hand from his arm to his chest. It was…very…intense.

"You're pectoral muscles are also…expanding." I looked at them. I know I felt something really…intense for Kyle but this was way too intense for me.

His gaze was so fixated on me…even more so than the night we slept together…what was with him? He looked…different?

"What?"

"Your hand…" He looked at me tenderly. "…it feels nice."

I sighed and was pleased with myself…I looked down then back at him. I smiled as I still kept my left hand on his right pectoral muscle. I playfully lifted my right hand and with my flighty fingers pulled it to his right pectoral muscle.

"Does this one too?" I looked at my hands and then back at him. I know I really liked to touch him. He blinked once…deep in thoughts staring at me.

"Yes…"He then broke it off to stare at my hands again.

He sighed as if in pain. He looked angry. What had happened? "Did you just shock me?"

What?!!

"No, why would I shock you?" I was suddenly confused.

"I don't know…" he really looked as if he didn't. He kept staring at me. "I felt a charge enter my body.

"That's your libido." Of course it was, silly Kyle!

He blinked suddenly a flash of irritation went through him.

"What?!" He said pulling away and walking away from me. "No, it isn't. Would've felt that before."

Huh…interesting.

"You never felt that with Amanda?" I asked him curiously. He pulled the first shirt he found and put it on. He started to button it quickly.

"No…I felt other things…" I didn't want to hear that either.

I looked for a logical explanation so he would get that freaked face off.

"Well, maybe there was a power surge in the area. He looked around and then back at me. This thing with us…was too confusing.

"Maybe…" I sighed. I wanted to make him feel comfortable again.

"So…how did you sleep last night?" I asked in hopes to make him feel better.

"I didn't…' he said…his buttoned shirt all wrinkled. He seriously looked adorable.

"Neither did I…" This was so hard. This was the hardest plan to try and make do. It was frustrating really…

He worriedly walked towards me again. "Jessi…" he was right in front of me again. "I'm sorry you had to go through that." I sighed….it was hard." I'm sure it wasn't easy confronting Cassidy about Sara."

I started to fix his shirt to distract him, so he hopefully wouldn't find out I was lying to him.

"I was acting…' I said shaking my head and fixing his collar.

He looked so concerned for my well-being…did he really care about me?

Then there was that moment when everything went blank and faded around us…and there was only the Kyle/Jessi pod. It had been hard, I did love my mother and I had the chance to kill the person that had killed her, but I wouldn't do that…not to him even if he did deserve so…and definitely not to Kyle.

"I'm fine…" I said my hands in his chest once again."…I promise."

I whispered that…hoping it wouldn't break our pod. He looked so concerned. My hands still in his collar…he put his hand on a strand of hair of mine and caressed it. I sighed again feeling our electricity.

"There's that power surge again." It was so intense…He still cupped my face…it felt so amazing…the way he looked at me.

Then, the door opened and the moment was broken and it couldn't never be picked up once again.

It was Nicole…

I usually liked her…but lately…she had been getting on my nerves.


	4. What is it about her?

We were driving just far away right after he had saved me. He drove very carefully, perhaps too careful. I looked at my surroundings, just staring at the beautiful greenery. It was so beautiful, a sudden kind of love emerged in my body. The kind that made my soul soar…and then it came to me…I had never been loved, nor had I ever loved anyone—that made me sad.

Kyle loved her, he shared something with her, something I couldn't understand and perhaps I never would understand. What they shared was incredible and raw and true. I wondered about this subject as he hastily drove down the road that awaited us—the most unique people in the world and yet he preferred a humble and normal human being, someone completely average.

"What is it about her?" I heard myself ask him. "Amanda?"

I didn't look him in the eyes as I had asked him about it. I kept looking at the greenery hoping I might understand what love is.

"That's hard to define…"He answered me, although I hadn't asked for the standard meaning of what he and Amanda meant.

I remembered how Kyle felt about her because I had been inside his mind. In fact, I temporarily could feel what he felt.

"I saw the way you think about her..." I closed my eyes, immersing myself into those feelings hoping someday I would have someone I could reproduce them for."…when you kissed it was so…_tender_, _magical_…"

"I guess when you kiss someone you really care about you open your heart to them." He said and then paused. "You let yourself go."

Maybe…"Is that love?" I asked him finally turning away from the beauty and mystifying greenery.

"And trust…" He explained to me this time looking at me.

I looked down…I wanted to understand and most of all to have it, but…I didn't and I couldn't…I wished, though…

"I don't think anybody wil ever kiss me that way…" I could only hope…


	5. A Suicidal Kiss

Disclaimer: This is the alternate mid-season 2 finale from the DVD. It didn't happen…!

"The girl has evil inside…" I frowned at Adam Baylin's words. I was suddenly confused. "She'll bring death to us all."

I didn't understand. Suddenly our connection had been ruptured, breaking apart our concentration. She didn't just let go of my hand, she literally pushed It away with such force I didn't find a normal being capable of—then again, she wasn't a normal being.

Jessi looked just as confused as I was, perhaps even more and then…she ran away.

"Jessi!" I called after her…I wanted to know what Adam meant about what he had said, but...I needed to find Jessi so I ran after her.

She ran so quickly. I could keep up with her, but she had been better.

"Jessi, wait!" But she didn't care, she still ran and ran. I couldn't catch up with her no matter how much I tried. She kept running and running until she finally stopped and I grabbed a hold of her hoodie and jumped over her to face her.

"Jessi, just listen to me!" But she didn't listen she kept wanting to run away from me, but I was blocking her. She turned around, but I beat her this time…I was faster. She looked at me stunned and then turned away once again and so I grabbed her. She tried to fight me in a very vicious, vicious way but I kept avoiding her punches and her attempts at hurting me.

She slapped my chest and I simply took her wrist away from me as she tried to hit me with her right hand, but by then I had both her arms in my hands. She was frustrated –I could feel it.

"Why are you running?" I asked her, my eyes tearing up.

"You heard what she said…"She said to me as if she didn't have to explain furthermore…

"No!" I told her angrily, in fact I yelled in frustration. "I don't know what he meant but I know you're not evil!"

She got mad and yelled in my face. "No, you _don't _know that…"

Jessi, the strong person I had come to know, was so weak and vulnerable at the face of this strong words repeated by my own father. She had taken them so seriously as if nothing could change her mind now that she knew how she really and truly was.

"Maybe I am!" She yelled at me" Maybe they made me this way!"

"No!" I refused to believe that…it couldn't possibly ever be true! "You decide who you want to be!"

"Please just let me go…" This time she was begging me. I couldn't ever understand how she could believe all these awful things. It wasn't possible!

"You CAN'T GO!" I bellowed at her. My eyes were in the midst of some wetness coming down towards my cheeks. I couldn't let her…"I left everything I ever cared about to come find _you_—to believe in you!" She was finally; perhaps coming to her own senses…she looked at me in an intense way as if seeing the sunset for the first time. "To _trust _you…the only person in this world who's like me!" She was looking at me still anxious waiting for the moment I could let her go, but I couldn't—not when it meant having her die in front of my eyes while I could stop her! I…I just couldn't! "Don't leave me, Jessi! Please!" I begged of her. At this moment I didn't know what to do…all I knew was that I couldn't just let her go…I couldn't live my life without her by my side, without the way she had charmed my life by being her unique fragile self! This bond we had, this unbreakable bond couldn't ever be broken! It couldn't and I refused to stand here and let her go especially after I realized I needed her by my side! Always!

And then without any burdens on my mind I kissed her passionately as she had struggled to break free, but finally being let free as she put her hands in the back of my neck to bring me closer to her. The way Jessi kissed me was nothing more than this connection that held us together being more proven off! She took my jacket with her right hand pulling me into her as she passionately caressed my hair. My left hand moved to her right wrist and my right hand pulled her waist closer to me… holding her tight. Our kiss was so right, the energy that flowed to us and around us moved near us came out of us and lived through our bodies only reassuring our connections and our places together in this world. It was more than magical; it was…more than caring for someone. It was so special—I had never felt anything like this.

Suddenly she let go, gasping for air…but so was I—our only difference was that she was shocked. As I tried to bring my breathing back to normal realizing that she had done something… I asked her: "What did you just do?"

We were so far away from each other right now…as if that kiss had never happened—only it did.

"I got into your head…" Her breathing hardened…"I took what they wanted me to…"

I couldn't believe she had done that."The information!" She couldn't have! No, she wouldn't have done this! "What is it?!"

I walked towards her…she had pulled away and had practically gone away. There was something…different about her. She looked to my right but not directly to me.

"It's not …anything!" She finally looked me in the eyes uttering…"It's everything!"

She was overwhelmed by that information! She wasn't apt enough to handle it, not as able to handle it as I was…

"Jessi!" I told her, trying to keep her closer to me, she was a feet away. Jessi just shook her head in denial.

"You shouldn't have trusted me!" She shouted to me angrily! Her face was contorted in lines of fear and angriness, but most of that directed to me. I was heartbroken…what..what if…? And then she jumped off the cliff.

"NO!!!!!!!" I yelled but she was already down there in the water somewhere—I didn't stop her. "NOOOO!!!" Why didn't I stop her?! How could I have ever been this foolish and reckless? Didn't she care? Didn't she care about me?

I tried to answer all my questions subsequently to my calculations…I was wondering if I could jump in and save her…I hoped I would…I hoped! Because I had meant every word I had said to her…every…single …one! And maybe she hadn't believed me although she should have! I needed her..I needed her…


	6. Honest

I was reading one of Nicole's old psychology magazines in my brand new bed; it was incredibly daunting…but what else could I do? I wanted to know how everything went at Latnok.

Someone was knocking on my door. I was so distracted I thought maybe it would be Lori coming in to tell me something about Mark or perhaps about Kyle.

"Come in!" I said still rifling through the magazine. The door opened and I felt a strong prescence in my room. It was Kyle, of course.

I hadn't even noticed that I had gotten up from my bed and was suddenly standing up facing him. "Did you win?"

He didn't answer me. He still looked…indifferent towards me and that, that hurt.

"Are you still mad?" I asked him carefully.

He sighed and then told me:"I don't wanna be…" He paused for a second. "Help me understand, you knew better then you did it anyway."

"I never wanted to hurt you…" I know it sounded like I interrupted him, but I had to explain to him. I didn't do it on purpose! "You are the most important person to me in the world." And it was true. "I just—wanted to be accepted by them and I let him manipulate me."

"Why would you want to be involved with them at all?" Why couldn't Kyle understand?! He was…so important to me.

" Because it would've been something that you and I shared. " He looked at me, barely understanding me at all…as if I were speaking in a different language he didn't know or couldn't understand.

"Jessi, we share a LOT of things…" He stated to me, understandingly. He furrowed his brows as if he couldn't understand me.

"Not enough…"I told him. He still didn't look like he had grasped on what I meant."I wanted more."

We were very close, yet not close enough. We had perfect eye contact, but that was only because he was trying to read me and he couldn't.

"I need to trust that you'll always be honest with me…" He told me."Otherwise, we won't share anything." That sounded like a terrible ultimatum so I wanted to please his request.

I sighed understanding the words and I nodded telling him" In that case…I guess you should know Amanda came by..." I shook my head and rolled my eyes as I said this, but still maintained the eye contact, but only so _I_ could read _him._

"She did?" He asked me, curiously. "When?" Now that question was demanding.

I replied to his request. He was curious and wanted to know the reason for Amanda coming by.

"The other day…"

"Why didn't you tell me?!" He asked very confused.

"Because I think that…she still likes you."

"What does that have to—" for a moment, and just a moment, I thought that he had cared enough about me to actually put me at the top of his list, before Amanda. His face lighted up when I told him that and mine must've frowned terribly. That hurt me."Wait—she does?"

I blinked then broke away from our eye contact…I couldn't keep reading him; it was hurting me too much. He loved Amanda and I couldn't do anything but stand there like an idiot declaring her feelings for her.

"What does that have to do with you not telling me?!" He asked me with a trace of misunderstanding on his voice.

I couldn't look at him anymore, specially when I was about to break into tears.

"What is it?!" Did he genuinely said this because he cared for me or because it had something to do with his _precious _Amanda? "Why didn't you tell me about Amanda?!"

I was still at a loss to answer my own question.

I finally looked him in the eyes…and he looked at me, his face puzzled. "Because I don't want you to be with her…" I gulped. He was beyond confused. "I want you to be with me…"

He closed his mouth in awkwardness and then he fumbled around. He bit his lip and tried to smile at me.

"Jessi…." He said my name sighing. "I just…don't see you that way."

I wanted him to leave me alone so I could cry myself to sleep. He put his hand on my shoulder in a friendly way and I had never wanted him to stop touching me so much.

"I just…I just want to be your friend." He smiled at me and said:"I hope I am…"

I had never wanted to cry so much so I ran away from the room…leaving him there and running up to the bathroom to cry and cry. Why didn't he understand and most importantly why couldn't I get him of off my mind?!"


	7. Distractions

I was getting some orange juice after Stephen, Josh and I had had a delighting conversation about _Star Trek_. I was beginning to feel very curious about that Spock character. I don't know why, but our conversation had definitely distracted me from …everything I didn't really want to think about. Perhaps Nicole might make some pancakes this morning; I was definitely up for some sugar early in the morning. I hadn't really had any Sour Patch Kids lately, maybe I could buy some today after going to _The Rack._

I closed the refrigerator and put the glass on the counter to serve myself some fresh orange juice, but that wasn't until I noticed that Nicole had been standing there.

"Oh, sorry…" She laughed. "I didn't mean to sneak up on you."

"That's not easy to do…"I smiled serving the orange juice. It was strange that I had distracted myself so much to actually lose my abilities. Nicole was awfully quiet. I wondered if there was something on her mind. She just stood there staring at the orange juice filling my glass.

"Something wrong?!" I finally asked her, putting my suspicions aside.

"Well…"she sighed. "I need to—talk to you about something."

She avoided eye contact and put her hand on her face. Her whole body language was indicating that she was avoiding this particular talk or situation. I wondered what it was.

She finally stopped and looked me in the eyes, perhaps to question me and to see if I was lying or not. "I saw you the other night…kissing Jessi."

I…did not expect that. I blinked and tried to make sense of it myself so I could explain it to her.

"Oh…"I could only reply that for I did not what else to say to her."I'm sorry…"

"Oh,no, you don't need to apologize." She stated to me, although it felt as if I should apologize. "The two of you have shared _so_ much. You have an unique bond ; it's not that surprising that you'd be attracted to each other."

It definitely was to me. "It is to me." I gulped. I felt so strange _all the time, _as if I couldn't have a breathing moment without having that doubt in my mind…without feeling _that._"I mean, Jessi's always been really important to me, but…these new feelings I—just don't know how to deal with them. "

I felt Jessi coming down the stairs. Her presence had always been an impacting influence in my life, but lately it had become overwhelmingly impossible not to know where she was at all time and what she was doing.

"Those feelings are confusing for ordinary teenagers living in separate houses …"She said and then paused, choosing her words carefully for what she had to tell me. "It's just so much more complicated for the two of you."

She was right…this was beyond complicated. I had never felt this difficulty when I pursued my feelings for Amanda. This Jessi feelings were just….I didn't even know, but they were certainly strong and passionate to be on my vigorous mind for an abundant placing of time.

"So…what do we do?" I had to ask. Specially, since Nicole seemed to evoke complexity in her pursue to question Jessi and mine's interpersonal relationship.

"Well, you may not like it, but…" I probably wouldn't like, yes…"you and Jessi live here,together, as part of our family…and for you to pursue that kind of relationship…well, it's just not appropiate. I'm sorry, Kyle…I haven't had to set this kind of boundary before"

"It won't happen again..."I reassured her.

"Thank you." She answered me, looking more relieved than I had ever seen her. "I don't want either of you to be hurt." And I believed that what she had said had been more sincere than ever. "And you know how fragile Jessi is." She added. I nodded agreeingly.

I honestly felt like a child being reprimended after doing something he wasn't supposed to. I didn't know that kissing Jessi would do that. Although, if I apologized that probably meant that I was…I was feeling guilty about it. I didn't know the reasons of why I had kissed her, I just know it felt right. I would follow Nicole's rules through and through, but…my feelings for Jessi didn't seem likely to fade away. And just as I had finished those thoughts I had noticed that my orange juice had turned cold…just like the electricity and heat Jessi and I had.


	8. Slurping Feelings

"Come on people, move along!" Josh said as I saw Jessi smile at his presumptuousness. And I stared at him too. He looked very bossy today. Andy must have been driving his feelings that way.

"I thought you were open for business." I told him.

"That's right, my business." He said picking up some people's used cups to the cleaning room.

"But we were just—"Jessi started to explain to him, so he could give us more time at our table.

"All right!" He yelled like a madman. "Sibling benefit, 10 minutes, start slurping!"

Jessi and I tried to understand why Josh was acting that way until Jessi broke out of her probably deciding she couldn't care less…

"This may be one of the only places we can be alone together…" She said to me joyfully. Jessi flitted her lashes the way girls did in old movies.

"Jessi!" I told her warningly.

"What?!" She answered me with another question very nonchalantly as if she didn't know what I was talking about, but I knew she did know. She was there, I was sure she had overheard my conversation with Nicole.

"Did you listen in on me and Nicole this morning?!" I asked her because I had to make sure that my mind wasn't pulling tricks on me. Lately I felt everything I thought about was Jessi-related.

"Yes…" she confessed, after a pause. "And I don't think it's any of her business." She said her statement full of righteousness.

"We live in her house; we're part of her family." I tried to explain this to her but it didn't seem to get into her head.

She looked hurt. "So…kissing me meant nothing to you?!"

This was when her words struck me across my face, metaphorically speaking of course. I hadn't figure out why I had kissed her, even though I had abundant theories in my mind. I didn't know how to answer her, but I definitely had to. "Of course it meant something to me" It meant a lot more than something…it was…it was…

"Then how could you not want to be with me?!" She asked me exasperatedly. I wondered what was going on in her head. Was it as scrambled as mine? But she had figured out her feelings for me a long time ago, even if I hadn't noticed. But I hoped I would get them straight and know how to deal with them. "Kyle, when you kissed me I felt…" she chose her words carefully, but intently. "…such a rush through my entire body, didn't you feel it?" She asked me so gleefully. Of course I felt it; I even felt it now…right this moment. I honestly wished I could repeat last night and kiss her as tenderly as I had, as right as it had felt it was wrong…why was it wrong? Now, Jessi…Jessi left me speechless.

And then we proceeded to talk about our plan against Cassidy. And as unimportant as that felt compared to our feelings, we had to talk about it and we had to go through with it and, and…this meant I could help Jessi, that had always been a very much important and vital part in my life. In the midst of my confusing feelings and our abrupt plan, I realized that she was…_made_ for me. My other half, my complete and total soul mate; that psychic had been right…


End file.
